she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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