thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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