Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
