I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
