On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
