She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
