So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
