Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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