I heard we made out
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize