Sry I called you an 8
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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