and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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