Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
