I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
