Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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