Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You made out with two different species that night
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
this hospital has no fireball
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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