I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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