i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
