she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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