I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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