I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I love having hate sex.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
