Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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