he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
