Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i dont even know how to be here
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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