There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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