he fucked my hip out of place.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
