Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
