Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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