So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
