Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
