Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
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Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
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That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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