Small penises have feelings too.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
