i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
