Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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