good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
