What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
