he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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