that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
