Dual....:-)
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize