I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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