I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
