honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
