why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Randomize
