When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
They are going to name an STD after you.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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