So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
