i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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