I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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