i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
