i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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