ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
