i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize