Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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