There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
