You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
