somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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