8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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