Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
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dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
27 Hairstyles That Always Come With A Matching Personality
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever