it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!