I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
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I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night