Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(801): View more from Utah

We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."

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(650): View more from California

what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?

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(503): View more from Oregon

I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves

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(813): View more from Florida

If you die in college, do you die in real life?

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(940): View more from Texas

Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.

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(519): View more from Ontario

Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.

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(602): View more from Arizona

So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?

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(775): View more from Nevada

Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone

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