There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
