Already got asked if we're dating
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize