Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
ugly people sure do ruin things
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
