so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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