didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
