So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
