You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
