I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
