im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
