don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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