I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
